Leaping into 2016...

So 2015 was a year of change – some good, some bad, and most of us really wanted to get off the ride at some point during the year.  As my daughter likes to say, it was a “character” year, and boy, did we all have a chance to develop our characters…

2016 is hopefully what my daughter would call a “plot” year - a year to take those changes and make something from them.  Take the changes and build a life of meaning and substance and see where it takes us.

I’ve restarted writing this blog several times, scrapped it and started over, because as I write, new questions and ideas come up, and it’s more than just reporting on my newest adventure – which, trust me, is a HUGE adventure.

At 55 years old, I am restarting? redesigning? recreating? the way I live my life.  I’ve stepped out of my 30+ year relationship and our home of 17 years, and it’s now me and the cat living in a studio apartment in Laguna Beach.   Yup - leaping head first into an adventure of the unknown.  Excited and terrified.  And it feels right.

Originally I was going to write about some of the challenges of downsizing and living small (which I will do in a later post, because, yes it has been a challenge and has also provided many opportunities for laughing at myself).  However, I was struck with a different message that wanted to be written. 

As the people in my life become aware of my decision to change my life, I keep hearing how “brave” and “courageous” I am.  How they “admire” my “strength” for being able to take a giant leap forward in a new direction.  Has this been hard for me to do? Hell, yes.  Did I doubt myself?  Over, and over, and over again.  But the overriding feeling that I needed to live a bigger life, and live as my true self, was stronger.

Now, the questions that wanted to be asked:  Why is it considered brave and courageous to live my true life??  Why did I have to be so strong to make the changes that needed to be made?  Shouldn’t we all be able to recognize when life goes off track and be able to make adjustments?  Why do we play so small? Why are we so worried about what others think?  Why can’t we think outside the box?  We make many decisions on a daily basis – how many of them are made from fear of what others will think, rather than from a true feeling of what needs to be done?

I am learning how to live a bigger life by going small.  A small house necessitates careful consideration – other than necessities, the only things that will grace my new home are going to be things I love to have around me and things that have meaning.  Another question – why did I have to move to a smaller place to make that rule?  Shouldn’t that be our rule for living anyway??

So, I don’t know what 2016 will bring, and I expect challenges. But, I do know that my goal is to live an intentional life, valuing the gifts I’ve been given, and using them to create a meaningful life for myself and others.  I jumped off the cliff, the parachute opened, and I’m excited to see where I end up at the end of the ride.

Light, Love & Laughter